JOURNAL ENTRY 001

I've been thinking about what made me want to document this journey.

It's been a dream of mine for a long time—to have a website.

A place that is mine.

A place where I can be witnessed.

A place where I can speak, feel, create, and know that it's rightfully my safe space.

Mine.

The last four and a half years that I've been in California have really changed my perspective about the world and life.

I've been through some very tough times.

And as I improved to be a better person, I wanted to document who I was and share it with the world while growing more into myself.

What changed my perspective was the different side of the world, different people, different culture, different ways of living.

I experienced some severe adversity.

The biggest difference I can really think about is that I'm more of myself.

I see myself more.

Maybe the other side that I couldn't see is more at the forefront, and now I feel more integrated.

Even though I was attentive to others around me, I wasn't true to my intention, at least not upfront.

Internally, when I sat with myself, I would be able to process things like that.

I had the drive, or the auto-steering, to get where I'm at today.

It's like a version of me was clawing to get out, but I would suppress it in order to meet reality with others.

I felt that I would be alone if I were to express fully what I feel, what I want, what I need, and what my purpose is.

I felt like it was overpowering. Too much.

That's one reason why I leaned toward music, so I could be heard, felt, and seen.

I think it was the beginning of when I felt like my voice didn't matter, where I was told to be silent, whether it was by the world or my family.

So I would retreat into whatever world that I could relate to, like Ninja Turtles, which was when I was three years old.

But as I got older, I was definitely inspired by Ninja Gaiden.

This is only the beginning.

I don't know exactly where this journey will lead, but I know it's worth remembering.

So, today, I begin.